A little story board from our journey home…
See who else is Sinning this Sunday by clicking the link below.
This morning our youngest went to help out my mum and we were given a couple of hours alone. Normally I would be winking and nudging MrH all morning about this “alone time” and what we might do in it, but today, for some strange reason I didn’t. I say strange because the child had interrupted play on Friday night and I have been sooo horny since then. MrH took child out and I was sewing. I decided to repair a seam rip in a quilt cover and then I took Missy’s corset pattern apart. I didn’t see Sirs WhatsApp message….
MrH walked in and said, “You didn’t see my message.” Continue reading “Forced Orgasm Heaven”
Is one of my all time ABBA favourites.
Its so sensual and beautiful. It’s one of the songs on my “love” playlist that I listen to when we’re away in hotels (or playing at home if MrH tells me to put music on). The lyrics seem so perfect. If you’ve never heard it click the link to take you to the YouTube Video . I can quickly mentally detach from my day and it helps me to focus on what MrH is doing, as he touches me.
I think it will be better known soon as they have included it in the soundtrack to Mamma Mia 2 and Lilly James does a fabulous job. You can judge for yourself via this link. I’ve put the lyrics below too.
Anyway, I hope you like it.
Our recent visit to stay with Missy and HisLordship made us think about and talk about a lot of things. They have a beautiful home. The bedrooms are so spacious we got to thinking how could we give ourselves a better play space that would be practical.
Before we got the cats we would shut our bedroom door. The dog would come to bed when we did and he would sleep on the floor or on the bed with us. When the cats joined our household we could no longer close the door. I felt it was unfair to lock them out of the room when the dog was allowed in but we couldn’t close them in the room because their litter trays are downstairs and they sometimes play at night. When we lost our beautiful dog 😢 the door remained open as the cats were now used to being able to come and go. A few times I’ve joked about fitting a cat flap to the door and now we have decided to do it. We will then be able to close the door.
Our eldest son has once again left for university and this time I have told him his room is being reassigned. It is to become a dressing room for MrH and myself. All our daytime clothes will be in there and our bedroom will gain 50cm of floor space over 2 areas where the wardrobes currently occupy. This means that when MrH makes his play bench it can be left assembled as it will look like a bench to sit on while dressing.
We also really enjoyed being able to sit at a table and chat while tea was prepared and so we have now got a table and chairs. They are not new – they have come from a relative who no longer wanted them – but that doesn’t bother me.. I think as a society we are too quick to discard items and think that having second hand or used things makes you less of a person. I was raised to value things in a different way. I have 2 cousins that are 3 years and 1 year older than me; so when the oldest outgrew something it went to her younger sister… when she outgrew it, it came to me. It was the way it was done. I always try to pass on things that are no longer used or wanted (if they are reusable and in good condition) to friends or people who may have use for them.
This weekend the work begins on the transformation.
There’s been a lot of discussion too about our rules and dynamic. MrH has been working on reinforcing his dominance, reminding me who’s in charge and to follow the rules. Yesterday evening when we did our evening collar swap he smacked my bottom “to remind me who’s in charge” and told me that “tonight we are going to sleep, tomorrow I am going to play.”
It was quite astounding the effect this had. Today I’ve been very conscious of following the rules, it’s no panties Friday and I had a meeting in work, and then we all went out to lunch. All the time I was aware of my rules and I picked the best option on the menu and got a diet drink.
When I got home I snuggled for a bit on the sofa before it was time to run his bath and get ready for bed.
MrH has also talked about introducing a maintenance impact play session into the week. I think this will be with the cane but he does have the new “screamer” courtesy of HisLordship as well as a flogger, and of course his hands, so he has options to play with. I have tried not to push this topic and ask when he plans to do it etc as I know when he’s ready and has a plan he will tell me.
I am learning to hold back my natural tendency to run 100mph at everything. Our house move about is planned to take us 3 or 4 weekends. With the final step being the fitting of the new stairs carpet… (we bought this 4 months ago and haven’t fitted it yet because we haven’t finished decorating that area – we ran out of paint)
So I guess we have an exciting few weeks ahead of us. Things moving about and new play space. MrH also plans to put some fixings onto one bedroom wall that he can tie me to. Like I said – exciting times ahead 😊😊😊
On our journey home yesterday MrH and I talked.
We discussed our D/s in terms of what we want and where we are going.
Perhaps I should explain….
“You do that so well,” he said. He was reclined on the bed, eyes half closed watching as she took his cock into her mouth over and over.
“I want to cum inside you tonight,” he said. “Are you wet?” He reached down and pushed his fingers between her thighs. “Excellent always ready for Sir aren’t you? Sit on my cock and let me see you.”
She moved obediently straddling his hips. She guided his cock into her wet pussy, sinking onto it with a sigh.
“You like that?” He asked
She nodded shyly, looking uncomfortable and uncertain.
“Use your words,” he commanded.
“So did I – do it again.”
His hands moved up her body to her breasts. He squeezed her nipples tightly and she gasped again.
“That’s a good girl, feel me in you, give me your tits I want them where I can bite them.”
She leaned forward and he took her nipple into his mouth, and after teasing with this tongue he nipped with his teeth. She moaned with pleasure.
His hands had travelled to her hips and he ground her onto his cock his pelvis tilted up to meet her movements. He noticed the change in her breathing.
“Oh no my sweet you mustn’t cum yet- you haven’t asked permission.” He reminded her of her agreement. Her orgasms were his to give or deny.
“Please Sir?” She gasped
A wicked grin covered his face as he considered how long he could drag it out.
“Not yet, keep going I am enjoying it.”
He moved to the other breast and with his tongue he circled her nipple. He heard her moan. As he sucked. He could tell she was trying very hard not to cum. Her whole body was tensed as she continued to move on his cock.
“Look at me” he said. She opened her eyes and looked at him. “Cum for me.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, as her body relaxed and a few movements later he felt her body contracting around him.
When she relaxed, the orgasm over, he said sharply “Now its my turn, stand up there and bend over.” He pointed at the side of the bed. She climbed off and did as she was told. She put her hands on the floor, opening herself to him as he had asked her to do. He stood and deciding suddenly that her ass looked most inviting, put on a condom and a glove. He applied loads of lube over his cock knowing he wouldn’t last long and then put some onto her ass.
She squirmed as the cold lube touched her and he pushed his finger gently into the hole, just opening it up.
He put the tip of his cock on the edge of her ass….
“Let me in… like a good girl…” he pushed into her tight ass “oh that’s good… very good”.
He was all the way in and close to release. He pulled out, damn it felt good, he moved in and out firmly, his climax building, suddenly she cried out “Please Sir?”
“Yes you may” he said as his own orgasm pulsed through him he felt her own ripple through her body. He grunted in satisfaction.
That was a good fuck.
A few recent creations….
“I know what we’ll do!” MrH suddenly exclaimed last night. “We’ll get the cane out. We’ve not done that in a while.”
He got up and got out the cane.
“Where do you want me?” I asked.
“On the bed, arse in the air.” He said.
I put my body pillow across the bed and got on all fours, knees and elbows so I wasn’t leaning on my wrists (they get sore and swollen if I lean on them) and took a calming breath. My heart was racing with anticipation and I was wet from his taking charge.
For the next while (I don’t know how long) MrH wielded the cane. Every time he uses the impact toys he does so a little firmer/harder/longer. He checked in with me and stroked my behind at intervals throughout.
Several times I winced and gasped from the pain. I may have cried out.
I thought about saying yellow twice but changed my mind as the sting faded as quickly as the thought formed.
“Five more then we’re done,” he said.
They were hard and in relatively quick succession.
After I felt so calm and relaxed. My behind was red and hot as I snuggled into MrH. I slept last night so soundly (although I woke a few times – I think I must have been snoring 😴😳 as my mouth was really dry and I needed a drink).
Today I feel better. My behind is still a little warm feeling. Not sore exactly, not red or bruised, but I can feel it.
I can feel the connection between MrH and myself. I feel my submissive self returning.
I can see the benefit of a weekly cane session. The way that play re-enforces the dynamic. The way each strike pulled me down, told me MrH was in control. The calm I felt during play and after.
Today our eldest once again returns home. Hopefully not for long.
On Friday MrH and I are heading to Scotland to visit some dear friends. It will be nice to get away for a few days.
I told you to watch this space.
MrH has gone to the allotment. I’m sewing.
Before he left he took my hand and asked me to come with me. He took me upstairs, pulled down my leggings, told me to spread my cheeks and inserted the butt plug.
If it gets uncomfortable I have to message him.
But I don’t feel right.
I usually feel calm and content. But instead I feel sad, disconnected, distant.
I wrote about the eldest being home in x and although he headed off to London and we “in theory” had our old routines back things just don’t feel right.
That’s not to say MrH and I haven’t played because we have. We have tested the replacement wand. And I’ve been allowed to suck MrH’s cock before bed time twice this week. He allows this for a time and then he will instruct me to stop and fuck me until he cums. These play sessions are not about me they are for his pleasure only and I’m ok with that – more than ok- it feeds my submissive mental state and I get more than a little turned on by being used for his pleasure.
The child has, however, announced he is coming back 😢 this weekend. He will be leaving again but still I’m dreading him coming back. Even for a short time. He’s my son and I love him. But he upsets the whole house and he doesn’t like being here which makes it worse.
I told MrH today that I’m not feeling right. That I feel disconnected from my submission (that is to say the level of submission I am used to) and I feel distant from him. And I’ve said I would like some additional discipline or high protocol time to pull my head back to him.
In all honesty I have no idea what I need. I know I don’t feel like I should or I want to. I’m not following his rules all the time and I don’t self report because I don’t feel I get punished in a way that works for me, so there’s no point. Last time I confessed to eating off plan he told me he was disappointed and although I was in tears I felt rejected not disciplined. I suppose in some ways there’s a disparity between how I envision punishment and how he does. Writing lines is boring but it’s not something I dread. I don’t mind writing. What I crave in some ways is for him to punish me. Really make me cry not from emotional pain but physical pain. But then I think that the thing that would really put the brakes on that is the children living at home and I don’t think it’s something he wants to do either.
I’m sure they would hear me crying out or the sound of the punishment. And that conversation is not one we intend to have. But when he says he is disappointed, and I don’t know what to do here, just makes me feel that he will leave and find someone who doesn’t disappoint. I suppose that I want something that will be short, sharp, uncomfortable and over. The idea of a physical punishment that breaks me, hurts me so bad that I’m crying so that afterwards Sir would hold me and soothe me and using aftercare etc show me how much I am cared for and loved despite letting him down, despite not being perfect, despite failing he still wants and cares for me, appeals to me. The punishment and then care.
The thing is, I want to follow the rules. They are all good for me. But when my head is not level I falter.
When we last went away (and this keeps going round in my head) MrH asked me if I remembered my Safewords. He told me good because I’m only going to stop if you use them.
The anticipation of what he would do was intoxicating. I imagined some heavy impact play. Maybe forced orgasms. Lots of delicious things. Unfortunately the wand broke. And things didn’t flow – maybe because I was (in my head) trying to work out what Sir was planning it stopped me from drifting into subspace, the food was awful and well it wasn’t great as it could have been. At no time was I pushed to a point where I would have called yellow for a time out, never mind red. I was not thinking safe words at all. Maybe I am a little disappointed that it didn’t happen. That the play didn’t push any boundaries as much as it was still very enjoyable.
Now I sound ungrateful and critical of MrH but I don’t mean to. After all this is a joint journey and we all have to be comfortable with the way things go. There will always be an element of compromise and circumstances have to be taken into account.
MrH has said he will try this weekend to help pull me back. Watch this space….