Posted in 18+, D/s Experiences, Life in General

One year …..

One year ago today I asked MrH to consider adding elements of BDSM to our relationship; primarily D/s.

One year ago today MrH turned off the lights, spread my arms and legs and said, “don’t move”.

One year ago today I had the most amazing sexual experience that I could remember to that point. (It must be pointed out that in the following months there have been many many amazing experiences, MrH is very creative, and while this night is a special memory because it marks the point of change, it no longer holds the title of most amazing experience).

One year ago today….. it’s hard to believe …..

The last 12 months have been almost an awakening.

When we met I had a two year old child so we have never been “just us”. Our relationship has always folded around parenthood and MrH has always known me as a mother first. While I am his wife and lover, as a mother especially when the boys were young their needs were met before my own, and MrH is an equally nurturing parent so it’s been fantastic to sit and talk. Talk about what we want as a couple. To make a commitment to spending time alone. To spend time touching and being more tactile.

In becoming submissive to MrH I’ve found I’m calmer and less anxious. MrH says he doesn’t feel any different, he always knew he had the last say but after our recent hotel visit I wonder if he still thinks that way. I’ve noticed little changes in him. He is more vocal in his possession of me, and his concerns over how he may react if I received attention that wasn’t appropriate. (Which I do love of course – I adore that he feels possessive and protective – it makes me feel, well sexy, wanted, owned). He also speaks up when I am not behaving, he corrects me or slaps my behind. Warning me to behave. He’s threatened a few times that if I’m not careful I’ll get a spanking that I “will not like”. This has yet to happen, partly because I don’t want to upset him… but there’s a small naughty voice that does whisper “you know he won’t do it” – thankfully my other inner voices drown that one out by reminding me that I didn’t think he would make me write lines but he did…..

We have made time to nurture our relationship. To be present and connect. To check in with each other. What had become “normal” has been redefined and renewed.

This reconnecting has brought with it renewed passion and desire for each other. We’re hungry for one another again.

I’ve challenged my self perceptions sharing images of my body. I’ve received many wonderfully kind and complimentary responses to these images which in turn have made me start to consider that maybe I’m not as unattractive as I believe. It’s a catch 22 situation really as the only person who I really want to tell me I’m beautiful is MrH and he always did… I just can’t shake the voices of my mother and stepfather telling me I’ve a fat arse, big thighs and no tits. Maybe one day I’ll silence them.

There’s been some hiccups along the way. Nightmares where I’ve panicked that MrH would want to play with someone else. MrH added some new questions/answers into our daily ritual that seem to be helping with these.

In all this year has been amazing. I’m a lucky lucky lady to have a fabulous loving sexy dominant husband who rocks my world!

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Posted in 18+, D/s Experiences, Hotel Play Dates, Life in General

All wrong

On Thursday evening I remembered that we had a hotel reservation on Friday night. Normally we will have been planning and anticipating these stays but this week we were caught off guard, unprepared.

I went off to work on Friday, MrH was off work as his bike was having its service and MOT.

I finish early on Fridays, and MrH picked me up so we could go collect his bike. We arrived home, fed the cats and packed the case.

We left for the hotel at 5pm.

On the way MrH said he didn’t feel right. He said he didn’t think he actually did anything different but “I must” he said “as I don’t feel prepared and I don’t like it.”

We stopped at a pub on the way for tea (nothing to write home about) and arrived at the hotel just before 6.

The room was lovely. A suite of rooms.

We had baths.

We watched some tv.

We put on the robes that were provided.

MrH decided to do some rope work while the football was on. And as usual this relaxed me but I could tell MrH wasn’t feeling it.

We rested a little while then he decided to do some flogging.

MrH upped the anti on this, striking me harder than in previous flogging and I even flinched a few times. I relaxed even further. I don’t think I drifted into subspace but after I felt a little shaky.

We cuddled a little and I fell asleep.

We woke in the morning – early as usual.

We watched tv and waited for breakfast to be served.

MrH changed my collar and he hugged me. “I’m sorry it’s been a shit time” he said.

At 8 we went to have breakfast. After which we left and came home.

On the way home I fought back tears. It had been a shit time. We hadn’t connected right.

Nothing had felt right. Eventually I lost the fight and I cried.

We talked about it and have decided that there were a few things to learn.

  • We will make sure we know when we’re going away.
  • We will not plan a hotel play date away after work.

MrH and I hugged and cuddled through the day. Touching and kissing.

Fortunately last night our son went out to watch football at the pub. This meant MrH and I could take advantage of being alone.

I was instructed to suck Sirs Cock then to lie flat legs spread.

MrH used his mouth, tongue and fingers to bring me to orgasm a few times (I wasn’t counting), and, after I had drifted into subspace I squirted into his hands as he forced me to orgasm again and again. He then allowed me to take his cum in my mouth.

I drifted back. Safe and warm. I felt the connection between us.

Everything was right again.

Posted in 18+, Life in General

Then there were 3

I guess this is a strange title and given the nature of my blog maybe some of you will think that we’re venturing into a new area – polyamory…. nope.. I’m referring to work!

I’ve now recruited a 3rd member of staff. The business needs about 90 to 100 hours a week of admin/accounts support and so it’s too much for 2 people even full time. So I’ve called back one of my candidates from my earlier interviews who wanted to work school hours only to a maximum of 25 hours a week. This meant that she wasn’t suitable for the initial role but she is perfect for this, and she’s accepted.

She starts Monday and today I’ve felt so much better. I’ve even been singing away at work.

I’m now certain that I will be able to organise and support the business effectively. More importantly I won’t have to work at weekends anymore!!!!

Posted in 18+, D/s Experiences, Hotel Play Dates

What a wonderful night…

I could write in detail about our most recent hotel stay.

I could tell you about the delicious food, the lovely rooms and the delightful view from the balcony.

I could tell you how I was bound and pleasured.

I could tell you about the seemly endless minutes of forced orgasms where time stopped and all I could do was feel, and breathe.

I could tell you about Sirs hand spanking me. About the thudding of the flogger on my shoulders and the cane stinging my ass as the wand, that was tied between my legs, kept me on the edge.

I could delight you with descriptions of Sirs cock dripping with precum, showing me just how much he enjoyed playing with my body, licking and stroking my pussy until I was incoherent.

I could describe the taste of his cock in my mouth, how I wanted to feel him fill my mouth and throat, so he moaned with satisfaction.

I could tell you how we giggled and laughed taking pictures.

I could tell you… but instead I’m going to say this.

I had such an amazing time. I feel fantastic.

Cherished.

Loved.

Beautiful.

Sexy.

We started dating in 1995 and here we are almost 23 years later still in love, still passionate.

In fact this last 12 months has contained the most amazing sex I’ve ever experienced- and I thought I had a pretty great sex life before!

But the intimacy. The hugs, the cuddles, the kisses, the care- that is priceless and with life and kids this part of our relationship had waned. Again I didn’t think I was missing anything. But now, now I have these things back I realise how important they are. Vital to maintain a deep emotional connection. I’m writing this and all I want to do is put the phone away and snuggle, so that’s where I’m going now….

But before I do – please let me urge the people who are in relationships who read this to go hug their lover. Kiss them and tell them you love them. You really can’t say or hear it too much.

Posted in 18+, Life in General

Update

This week has been a whirlwind of activity.

The second member of staff started on Tuesday and she hit the ground running. We’ve had a few issues pop up and she’s dealt with them brilliantly.

Apart from having someone to talk to my workload hasn’t eased any yet but it will do..

I’ve even spent the weekend working as the sooner I get the data into the new software the sooner things will ease up.

In the mean time MrH is working to keep me grounded and maintain my submissive mental state once I get home and I’m extremely grateful to him.

I’m hoping that tonight MrH might have something special planned for me …. something deliciously dirty and hot!!!!

Next week we’re off to our favourite hotel and I can hardly wait…..

To be alone together.

With no distractions.

To be his.

6 more sleeps…….